In the spirit of R. D. Laing, one of the greatest explorers of the mind of our times, here is a scribbling I found of mine in one of my notebooks of a mysterious game exchange I find still occurring bewilderingly enough.
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She wants to DO something.
She pressures him "What do you want to do?"
He wants to DO nothing.
The premise of the question seizes up His mind.
He is unable to say He wants to do nothing.
She prepares Herself to do "something."
Under pressure, He tries to think of "something the He could maybe want to do.
Or at least be willing to DO.
She wants him to be happy by doing something he wants to do.
He wants her to be happy by going along with something she wants to do.
They go do something.
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She is temporarily happy "doing" something.
His is suppressing self-loathing and resentment for the loss of his own will-power and despairs into depression.
He snaps - gets angry, grumpy and ruins her fun "doing something".
She doesn't understand him... tries to appease him by hurrying home, but is hurt, angry, and her "fun" "doing something" is ruined.
He feels like a jerk and can't explain why.
She feels like She did everything possible to "do what he wanted to do" and get him out and have fun and is sad that nothing works.
He feels guilty He can't make her happy.
She feels guilty She can't make him happy.
They both go Home.
Her day is over and she is somewhat satisfied having done "something" but confused and frustrated some He isn't happy.
His day is spent and his despair deepens because time and opportunity of day are now lost and his time to "do nothing" is also lost.
He despairs further.
In the morning, the same cycle starts again when She asks, "What do You want to do?"
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I guess I might title it something like - I Don't Want to Do What You Want Me to Want to Do But I Love You and Want to Do What You Want Me to Do So I'll Try to Want What I Don't Want.for You
<shrug>
Happy landings in this game called life,
Mitchell
